A Baby Story: "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you" - Jeremiah 1:5

Life as I knew it was just beginning for my husband and I. We had our first baby, a boy! A beautiful miracle, John Phillip. And we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary. I was feeling overly blessed by God. He had given me so much in a short year’s time. Little did I know He wanted to give me even more!

                When Phillip and I were out in Kansas for Easter visiting with our families, I started questioning things. After I took a shower one night, I later told Phil, “My stomach is getting bigger!??” (I never gain weight there).Thoughts started rushing through my mind, “could I possibly be pregnant?” No way. John Phillip was just 3 ½ months old and I was nursing him. I couldn’t be that fertile. I shortly got rid of that idea and carried on with life as usual with it in the back of my mind, but not giving it any attention.  I told myself it’s just because I haven’t exercised in so long. But that wasn’t the end of it for Phil. Right away he started researching things on the internet and was anxious about it from then on.

                As time went on, we started to get more worried as I started to get more tired and as my milk supply was slowly diminishing. The following weeks after Easter, all my morning meditations on the daily readings seemed to have the same theme: TRUST. I knew Christ was saying, “Just trust in me, Tricia. I will never abandon you.” All signs pointed in the direction of pregnancy, but I was in denial. It came to the point where I knew I was pregnant, but just didn’t want to take a pregnancy test because I didn’t want to know for sure. I wanted to live in “freedom” a little longer. Poor Phil. The unknown was eating him alive. But he sat back, just encouraging me like the amazing husband he always is, and letting me take my time. I finally took a pregnancy test Mother’s day weekend after many tears and much encouraging from Phil. POSITIVE!!! The plus sign showed up in 2 seconds. Phil wrapped me in his arms as I cried many buckets of tears. It was such an overwhelming feeling. I felt so horrible for feeling so sad and selfish. All I could think was, “why me, God?” I knew I would be happy about it, but right then, my world was crumbling down. I like to have things planned and perfect and I felt as though God had given me enough this year. I was still getting used to being a new Mom! But as Phil hugged me, and as John Phillip gave me kisses, I felt Jesus doing the same.

Pregnancy Test :)

Very proud "littlest" big brother

                Phillip and I are 100% pro-life and also want a big family. So the idea of having another baby was wonderful thing, but I was not expecting it to be so soon. I was in shock, and it took a little while to get over the shock, but Mary has helped me.  We couldn’t be happier to be carrying another one of God’s precious miracles. And after the death of a best friend, many new doors were also opened to my eyes. The “why me, God” attitude flipped to, “why do you continue to bless my life, God?”  I felt as though I never wanted to complain again. What if I’m only able to have two children? What if my life is short? I need to embrace and love every moment I am given. I am beyond privileged to even be a Mother and have a loving husband. You feel like you know all these things, but sometimes things come up in life where you have to relearn them and recommit your love to God.

God works that way in my life sometimes and I couldn’t be more thankful.  As he drove out the sheep and oxen from the temple, he will also use circumstances, trials and difficulties as his "sword" to drive out from our lives whatever is opposed to God´s goodness and our own dignity. I was set in my ways and through this “struggle,” God has stretched me and taught me what surrendering my life to Him is really all about. He doesn’t want part of my life, He wants it all. And through this, He has allowed me to fall ever more in love with Him. One of the prayers in my meditation during this time read, “Lord Jesus, I trust in you. Despite the real struggles and obstacles in my path now, I know that you are leading me towards you. You are the only one who can fill the depths of my heart. Somehow, mysteriously, each of these trials is part of making that a reality.”

Our baby is due January 3, 2012! We won’t know the gender till then. We are getting so excited as my stomach is sticking out and as we get the feel the little baby kick and squirm inside. I know John is just as excited too. J We both feel like it’s another boy so we’ll be surprised if it’s a girl! I will keep you posted with updates and pictures. In the meantime, please keep our family in your prayers.  

All our love, Phillip, Tricia, and little John Phillip

Baby's toes

First Ultrasound

Little nose and mouth

Profile of baby yawning

2nd Ultrasound....head getting bigger.